I recently had the pleasure of meeting up with Arielle Ford, who gave a talk to support her new book at Unplug Meditation in Santa Monica, CA.
Before I tell you about Arielle’s great talk and book – yes, you read that right. Unplug Meditation is the world’s FIRST guided-meditation studio! A studio that offers NOTHING but meditation! How cool is that?! They offer 30 and 45-minute drop-in meditation classes, and the atmosphere inside is just wonderful – clean, modern, calming – it was an awesome space for listening to Arielle’s talk.
Arielle came from a similar background to mine – she said her parents couldn’t stand each other and were constantly fighting. (Interestingly, we discovered we both have the same birthday too!) Neither one of us had good role models for creating healthy, loving relationships, so we each had to go on an in-depth journey of self-growth in order to create the soulmate relationships we wanted, that we get to enjoy now. This is why we are each motivated to help others on their journey to love.
Arielle’s latest book is called “Turn Your Mate Into Your Soulmate”, and she began by addressing the illusion so many of us have about soulmate love – that once we find The One, life will somehow become super-easy and we will live happily ever after. What usually happens if we believe that, she continued, is that eventually the frustration, disappointment, and anger set in, and couples find themselves in divorce court.
She then went on to give some real-life examples of how to gain the skills we need to learn, so we can get along with each other. Skills like giving up perfectionism and the need to be right, understanding and honoring the differences between men and women, and communicating in a way that will bring us what we are needing.
A statistic Arielle quoted that caught me by surprise is that most healthy couples have at least NINE irreconcilable differences! How many of us well-intentioned beings who want to “work on our relationships” go about trying to completely resolve every issue that comes up?! People – let’s get this message – some issues will NEVER be resolved. And it’s ok. Provided it isn’t something detrimental to your physical safety, or mental health and well-being, most issues couples can’t seem to stop arguing about are just that – irreconcilable differences.
I would say the spiritual practice here would be ACCEPTANCE and SURRENDER. Arielle made a point that the differences between people are what make their partnership a good thing. What one person is lacking is balanced by the other person, and honoring each of these differences actually helps the relationship by providing both polarities to create greater strength – and she gave various examples of that.
The bottom line that Arielle emphasized? Transform the story you’re telling yourself, and focus on the FUN! There is so much more I’d love to share here, but I guess you’ll just have to get Arielle’s book.
In the interests of Full Disclosure: I get no compensation for endorsing her book, I just love Arielle, who she is, what she teaches, and I think it is greatly beneficial for my clients and community.
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Sending you warmest love blessings!