So what’s your STORY? We all have a story we tell about ourselves, how we came to be the way we are, how our life has ended up looking like it does.
We also BELIEVE our stories. After all, we lived them! From our perspective, this story is ABSOLUTELY true. We remember it! We KNOW this is how it all came about.
And yet – consider this: there is a phenomenon known as the Rashomon Effect, named after Akira Kurosawa‘s 1950 film Rashomon, in which a murder is described in four mutually contradictory ways by its four witnesses.
Scholars have studied this phenomenon and agree that there are many factors that influence people to tell supposed “facts” differently – there are differences in perspectives or points of view on the matter. There are differences due to memory and recollection, not just perception. There are differences because of subjectivity / objectivity, and differences due to social pressures, and inner pressures such as desire for closure, and more.
With all of these chances for differing interpretations, it’s no wonder that Marianne Williamson said “Your childhood didn’t happen the way you think it did anyway!”
The stories we tell about ourselves are not just about our childhood, they’re also about our current situations. As many times as I’ve heard clients say “There aren’t any good partners left out there at my age!” I’ve also heard stories about a true soulmate couple finding each other late in life against all odds.
The stories we tell ourselves are important, because repetition ingrains certain neural pathways in our brain, which cause our unconscious mind to repeat patterns that follow our stories.
To shift your life, begin noticing what story you’re telling about yourself and your relationships. Then ask yourself what story you would PREFER to tell about yourself?
Writing out a new story is very powerful, because the act of writing fires new neural pathways into your brain. The beauty of it is that you don’t have to figure out how you’re going to make your new story come true! It’s enough to KNOW what you prefer your story to be, and to write it out and RELISH it.
Repeating the new story over and over to yourself, feeling yourself absolutely LOVING this new version of your life, sends the right message to your unconscious mind to start figuring out how to bring you new results instead of the same old results you were getting.
So next time you hear yourself telling a story about your life, ask yourself if that’s the way you want it to be. If not, write yourself a new story, repeat it over and over to yourself, and watch what happens!
Let me know the results you get by posting in the comments below, or on my Facebook page here. Wishing you a new story and a new life!
8 thoughts on “Change Your Story to Change Your Life”
So many people have a habit of using “negative self talk” and defeating themselves. In my practice I talk about “self-defeating behaviors” and how to replace those with “success strategies”.
Yes, and there’s an emotional component too.
Learned over the weekend I am part of an elite 4% group. Only 4% of people raised in poverty become part of the middle class. Now if I rewrite my story to remove the raised below poverty level shame; how many poverty level people can I inspire to become middle class level people?
Good for you! Absolutely true – you are an inspiration to many! And clearing out the emotions (shame) will help you actualize that. I was raised in a lower working class environment, so not TOTAL poverty but we were quite poor. I am happy to say that because of the Spiritual Principles I practiced I am today in an upper middle class bracket.
I felt so guilty for so many years because I had given in to sexual feelings and had children with a woman I never should have. Then years later, decades later, I was told by a psychic that both those girls had a karmic requirement to experience abandonment, in effect, by their mother. So that had to happen some way, even if it meant they were born to a woman who died or something. Well, that was a different story, but I guess I still don’t know whether to believe it or not. I brought them up by myself, and did a pretty good, though not perfect, job. For that, to constitute abandonment by their mother, I had to remain single, I guess. But I am still alone. Every time a possibility for a relationship shows up in my life, if I move toward it, it vanishes like a mirage.
That hasn’t stopped me from hoping and wishing and taking steps toward someone who showed interest, really believing that this time it was really going to happen. come of it. Sometimes I know the woman was at least as sure of it as I was, but then something would happen, sometimes from the outside, like a lawyer telling her something she had to do that interfered. Sometimes from the inside, like the woman getting interested in somebody else.
How can I make a story that I can really believe at this point? And will really work? How can a person who has NEVER in this life had a relationship that turned out to be real tell a real story about a real one?
The challenge for you is to clear out the residual emotions that are keeping this story being true for you. This is Shadow programming for sure. As for your first wife, we choose the person that will most serve our soul’s growth. She was essential not just for your daughters but for your growth as well.
Thank you Nijole for sharing your light and for your constant research on the shadow. Mine was buried for so long during my childhood, and it’s no easy to expose it to the light. I never thought my own mother could have left so many deep scars in my soul.
After my prayers and my EFT sessions when I am relieved, I say to myself: it’s all gone, finished !! But few days later, the negative thoughts and emotions reappear, they get reactivated as soon as I meet and talk to a brother or a sister.
How can stop that spiral ? Must I stop seeing my whole family for a while ?
Thank you for your support.
The only way to stop is to release the energy from your body until it is completely gone, and to reprogram your thoughts about how you see the situation. Keeping a distance from your family is helpful until you are free of your own emotions and thoughts about them, but distance alone without the internal work does not solve the problem. Life will bring you others who will open that wound. Blessings to you!