So the first quarter of the year is behind us. It’s a great time to take stock and course-correct on the way to our goals for the year.
Here’s the trick: WITHOUT BEATING YOURSELF UP, did you take a step or two towards where you want to be in your relationship life this year?
Here are a few questions to ask yourself:
1. Did I make an Inner Shift? This would be a “yes” if you had a realization about your pattern, an old belief that was holding you back, or finally forgiven someone you had a relationship with in the past.
There are many more ways to make an Inner Shift – here’s a quick exercise to see if this is really true for you: Think of how you were feeling about your intimate relationship(s) around New Year’s – recall a situation or experience that revealed to you the feelings you had about your relationship life at the time.
After you get in touch with how you were feeling around New Year’s, check in with how you’re feeling about your relationship life right now. Do you feel better? Or worse?
That was kind of a trick question, because feeling worse now than you did around New Year’s could count as a positive step, if you are feeling worse because of some growth that occurred, some shift that happened that is now stirring up some nasty stuff inside.
You may not be on the other side of the growth yet, but if you think there has definitely been some positive movement that will just take some sorting out, then Yes – you’ve had an Inner Shift. In the right direction!
If you are feeling about the same about your relationship life as you were around New Year’s, then there probably has been no growth and no step taken towards what you want for yourself in this area – so that’s just something to NOTICE and become aware of.
2. Did I make an Outer Shift? This one is usually more obvious – did you attract a new love, did you get married, did you work through some major misunderstanding in your relationship that has now set the two of you in a more positive direction in your existing relationship?
A positive Outer Shift could also be a break-up if the relationship really was not good for you. If it could have been good for you, but the two of you didn’t have enough relationship skills to work it out, this is also positive growth because a breakup usually catalyzes each partner to learn more about not repeating the same mistake.
I’ve also seen people get back together after moving apart, working on relationship skills, and then trying again while applying the new skills learned. If you’re a compatible match, this can work again.
The purpose of this short exercise is simply to take an assessment to keep you on track with what you desire from your relationship life.
At the very least, it can help bring up the idea for you that your relationship life IS indeed important enough, and something you can work towards improving. You can take tiny steps each day, each week, each month to bring yourself the results you want to see.
On the other hand, if you are not taking steps to improve your relationship life, chances are no significant improvement will take place.
True – I’ve seen things change like a bolt from the blue! But that’s usually because we’re putting out some kind of energy towards what we desire – even if it’s COMPLETELY unconscious!
So celebrate Spring and the promise of New Life that it brings! If you’d like a new relationship life, think of what you would like to see at the end of the next 3 months, and start taking a step in the right direction. You just may see a real shift by the time Summer arrives!
In your comment below, or on my Facebook post here, set an intention for what you want to do so you can see a shift in your relationship life by July. Then you can see where you’re at with your goal by then!