Do you know someone who is obsessive in love?
Or someone who is totally selfless and giving, putting their partner’s needs above their own?
Have you dated someone who is a total player and doesn’t want to be tied down?
Before you jump to the conclusion that these are common relationship dysfunctions, consider that these are different love styles.
A number of authors have written on this subject – the earliest being John Alan Lee in 1973. Lee’s research identified 6 different Love Styles, which he categorized by their Greek names. Research by others in 2007 linked a genetic component to these love styles.
The 6 Love Styles are:
1. Eros – is a passionate physical and emotional love of wanting to satisfy, create sexual contentment, and security, which means the partners remain monogamous for the duration of the relationship.
2. Ludus – is a love based on wanting to have fun, engaging in activities both indoors and outdoors, teasing, playing jokes, and often includes the acquisition of love and attention as part of the game.
3. Storge – is a long-term love that grows out of friendship first. It is based more on similar interests and a commitment to each other than on passion.
4. Pragma – is a practical love, where one plans the relationship in such a way that their prospective partner’s goals match their own goals and fit in well with the needs of their family or tribe.
5. Mania – is a type of obssessive love where one objectifies their partner, putting them on a pedestal. Every little thing their partner says or does dramatically affects the manic lover either highly positively or highly negatively.
6. Agape – is a self-sacrificing, magnanimous, altruistic love, where one is willing to endure any suffering for their partner’s happiness.
Knowing your own predominant love style can help you identify a closer match with a prospective partner based on their love style.
If you are in a relationship, consider having your partner take the quiz too. If your scores for each love type are less than 12 points apart, YOU ARE A MATCH!
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