It’s no secret that when women are in their “do, do, do” mode, running around checking things off their “to-do” list, they are in their masculine mode. Doing activities, setting and reaching goals, happen to increase testosterone levels in a woman’s body, and then we wonder why women are not open to sexual intimacy after a long day of Doing. In order to be OPEN, women need to be in their feminine mode rather than in their masculine mode – the feminine is the RECEPTIVE.
This is why women tend to need physical foreplay more than men do to help get them in the mood. I thought it would be helpful to post these “12 Stages of Physical Intimacy” that I actually found on author Jenny Hansen’s blog, teaching authors how to write better sex scenes in their romance novels!
These happen to be the stages we move through when we are young and just beginning to discover our sexuality.
Single people who are dating can use these stages as a guideline for how quickly – or slowly! – to move to greater physical intimacy with each other, and take things at their own pace.
Couples can use these stages to sprinkle them throughout the day or evening out with each other, leading to an eventual hot night later!
Based on the work of Desmond Morris, Intimate Behavior: A Zoologist’s Classic Study of Human Intimacy, I present here the 12 Stages of Physical Intimacy:
1. Eye to body – the first registering of an “overall impression” of the other. A man will not approach a woman without this step.
2. Eye to eye – the first step of active interaction, along with all its vulnerability or tension.
3. Voice to voice – once you have met, you start to speak to each other.
4. Hand to hand (or arm) – a touch of the hand or arm is breaking the first boundary of physical intimacy.
5. Arm to shoulder – when one puts their arm around the other’s shoulder, it is a gateway to more intimacy. You are within range to smell, to kiss…
6. Arm to waist or back – a warm hand against the small of the back is an indication that one is allowed to be touched right above their bottom by the other!
7. Mouth to mouth – a kiss takes us to an entirely new level of intimacy. Depending on how the kiss progresses, several more intimacy levels may be skipped!
8. Hand to head – caressing the other’s face, stroking their hair, especially while kissing!
9. Hand to body – this again moves us into an entirely new level of physical intimacy, moving towards the ultimate lovemaking act.
10. Mouth to breast – this is intimate skin-to-skin contact, where a woman starts secreting the bonding hormone oxytocin. It is difficult to go back once we get to this point!
11. Hand to genitals – again moving to a new level of physical intimacy. The author skipped over “mouth to genitals” – I would insert that here (no pun intended!).
12. Genitals to genitals – the ultimate sex act, complete union in physical intimacy.
I love itemizing these stages, because there is SO much we can do in the first 9 stages to bring us closer physically without getting “hot and heavy” right away. A little imagination and creativity with these stages can create much playful satisfaction, inspiring a woman to be more open and receptive at the pace that is particularly right for her.
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