You Don’t Have to Change

The above is quite an evocative statement, isn’t it? And it’s absolutely true. So why do we counselors have you go through all these various processes to get you to see and do  things differently?

Let’s say you’re single and you haven’t had the greatest experiences while trying to find a mate. How can you start generating greater dating and relationship success?

Einstein said “We can’t solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them.” That certainly sounds like you have to change your thinking, yes?

Or what about the quote by Rumi that says, “Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.” Again that sounds like we need to change, yes?

And we counselors have you begin developing habits of loving yourself more, opening your heart more, forgiving your past, relaxing more, using your mind more constructively, being more open and allowing… and in making these “changes” – voila! Your perfect soulmate appears!

But have I really made you CHANGE?

All of the actions I have you take are necessary to align you with the part of you that already knows how to attract your perfect mate and have a fantastically successful relationship. It’s just that years of programming in the other direction have put protective layers around this part of you.

So, no – your core Essential Self does not need to change. It is perfect, just as you were when you were born. And you already have inside of you all that you need to create a perfect intimate partnership with the love of your dreams.

But you DO need to wake up to the part of you that is defended against allowing this to happen. This part of you is not your Authentic, Essential Self – it is the Protective Personality (Ego). It was developed in response to emotional experiences you didn’t know how to handle when you were young.

And here’s the trick – we can’t see this side of us! It is in our Shadow. We are blind to it, because it is SO much the platform from which we are viewing life that we don’t even think to question it.

And what’s more, you are very deeply programmed to NOT want to unveil the Protective mechanisms in you, for fear of feeling the emotions that you had shut away deep inside which you never want to experience again.

This is where you can really use the help of a very caring someone outside of you to help you see your own Protective Personality and what it is doing.

Waking up to this side of you helps you to see it in action. And when you are able to observe and witness it – WITHOUT JUDGMENT (that’s the key) – then you are free to make a different choice and come more from your Authentic Self than your Protective Self.

That’s when things FLOW, miracles happen, and love appears as if out of the blue! That’s when you are again reunited with the Power of your Authentic Self.

Does that make sense?

Let me know by leaving a comment or question below or on my Facebook page here. Or leave me a story of how you did wake up and what results you may be getting now! I’d love to hear it!

Sending many blessings on your journey!

 

2 thoughts on “You Don’t Have to Change”

  1. Yes! This makes so much sense 🙂 I was listening to an interview yesterday by Richard Schwartz ( IFS) where he spoke about; “our inner protected parts that need to be transformed (not changed) They are wonderful servants but terrible masters. ”
    You have added clarity to this new reality for me … ” This part of you is not your Authentic, Essential Self – it is the Protective Personality (Ego). It was developed in response to emotional experiences you didn’t know how to handle when you were young. ” Thanks

    1. I’m glad this makes sense to you, Trish! I agree – the aspects of our Protective Personality are important to listen to, embrace, love, and not allow to be in the driver’s seat! 🙂

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