The Foundation for a Good Relationship

If you are like most people, you think you love yourself and take good care of yourself, and yet may not understand the basic principles of Self-Love.

Consider the following examples:

• Do you wholly accept where you’re at in life, even though you may want “more”?

• Are you aware of the programming in your unconscious  mind and have taken steps to heal and integrate it?

• Do you get enough sleep and exercise each day and eat to give your body the support it needs?

• Do you over commit your time and say yes too much when you should have said no?

• Do you trust that your gut instinct is your unerring guidance?

• Are you completely comfortable with your level of gifts and talents around those who might judge you, or  compare you to others?

• Are you compassionate towards your shortcomings, past mistakes and regrets?

• Do you choose the thoughts that will empower you or do you give your power away to others or to circumstances that create powerlessness?

• Have you provided yourself with gratifying avenues for your self-expression: the expression of your thinking, your talents, gifts & abilities?

• Do you know how to ask for what you need in every situation in a way that will be heard (meaning lovingly)?

• Do you push yourself constantly to  work harder, keep your nose to the grindstone, and hardly ever give yourself a break, rationalizing it as what you have to do?

The above examples correspond to 10 branches of Self-Love as outlined by Self-Love coach Christine Arylo. Yes – there are TEN branches of Self-Love!

Most of us think Self-Esteem is self-love, or maybe Self-Care is self-love, but there is SO much more: acceptance, awareness, care, trust, esteem, compassion & forgiveness, empowerment, expression, honor & respect, and pleasure – which all adds up to our Self-Worth.

Why is this important?

If you don’t know how to love and care for yourself in these deep ways, it reflects in the types of relationships you form with others.

If we accept ourselves, we know how to accept others. If we treat ourselves with compassion & forgiveness, we know how to be compassionate & forgiving towards others. When we honor & respect ourselves, we naturally honor & respect others, and so on.

And since the Universe is a Co-Responding system, it brings us all that corresponds to who we ARE, not what we want or think or say or do.

To put it simply, when you learn to love yourself in all of the highest aspects of Self-Love, you cannot help but attract others who will treat you with the highest aspects of Love.

Some of you may argue – yes, I’m very loving to myself and yet I still attract others who are not so loving. After all, the world is made up of more people who don’t know how to love themselves, than those who do.

My answer is to see the second bullet point above – are you aware of the unconscious programming that may still be running you?

If you need help looking into your “Shadow” – the blind spot you are not aware of – set up a free consultation with me here to see if we are a good match for working together:

And be sure to let me know what you think by leaving your comments and opinions about this article below – or on my Facebook page here.

Wishing you LOTS of Self-Love!

2 thoughts on “The Foundation for a Good Relationship”

  1. Thanks for this article Nijole is a good reminder of just what self love means and I have realised that I don’t love myself enough! There are some of your points that I do abide by, but trusting your “gut instinct” is such a difficult thing. I feel like I have trusted my gut instinct before and then it has turned out to be an awful decision and really damaging. And then you doubt yourself! 🙁

    1. Ah, Justine, I have experienced the same thing. And for me, when that gut instinct led me to a situation that really blew up in my face (it was MAJOR), it took me a long time, but I eventually realized that I needed to learn a fundamental lesson that I couldn’t learn any other way. I was asking the Universe for a huge step forward in my life, and it was provided! Though it didn’t turn out the way I wanted it to, after much healing I saw the “gold” in what I had gone through. So the Truth is, when we align ourselves with our heart’s desire, life doesn’t get suddenly EASY – it still has its challenges, but life is always acting for our Highest and Greatest Good. I hope that helps!

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