This week’s question comes from a follower who says, “I have been working on myself for years, and I feel like it’s we women who are constantly going to the personal development workshops – the overwhelming majority of attendants are always women.
Why don’t the men do this kind of work on themselves? How am I supposed to find an enlightened man when they’re not doing the work?!”
I’ve heard it all different ways – you might be involved with a partner who doesn’t support your religious or spiritual views.
You might be a woman seeing that the men are not working on themselves as much as women are.
Or you might be a man dating “spiritual” women and complaining how they’re always trying to “convert” and “enlighten” him.
Let’s ask ourselves what “being spiritual” actually means – it means practicing regularly to keep our connection to whatever we think of as our Higher Power.
So let’s say that you are keeping up your regular practice of intending to stay connected with your Higher Self and your partner is not. What happens as soon as you notice that your partner is not keeping their connection with Source?
You have just broken your connection.
Because the act of judging someone else as “less spiritual” so-to-speak, comes from our personality construct or ego. It certainly is not the voice of our Higher Self.
So the question becomes, how much are you willing to allow someone else to interfere with your own spiritual practice?
Because “practice” does not only refer to our formal sit-down in meditation or time spent in prayer or saying affirmations or doing visualizations or inspirational reading.
Our practice is our embodiment of spiritual principle in all of our behaviors.
And I’m not saying that we EVER get to a point of doing this perfectly all the time! But that is our intention.
So the way to deal with a date or many dates or a partner who are not putting in the level of spiritual practice that you would like to see in them, is simply to focus more on your own spiritual practice.
That means seeing that person or those people with Love – knowing that they have the image and likeness of their Creator within them, whether they know it or not, and treating them in that way.
I have often found that people who are not on any recognizable spiritual path nevertheless have an innate Inner Wisdom that life has shown them. Whether or not they call it “God”, there is an enlightened flow that guides their life.
So let’s just say that they don’t have the same vocabulary about it as you do, and they use different symbols and myths.
I have had the pleasure of talking to confirmed atheists and scientists and agnostics in ways that could have been defined as spiritual if we used different words to describe the concepts we were discussing that reflected the principles of Life.
So is it possible to have a long and happy marriage to someone who does not ascribe to the same point of view as you spiritually?
It depends how important that is to you.
If your partner or potential partner is a loving, giving, kind and considerate person, would it matter if they don’t have a spiritual practice or interest?
I think it is important for the longevity of a relationship that there be a lot of compatibility between partners. But what if you are very compatible in all other areas, just not in the area of spirituality?
That would be a tough decision, because what are you throwing away in search of that one partner who has it all?
As Tom Robbins said, “We waste time looking for the perfect lover instead of creating the perfect love.”
Let’s have a discussion about this rich topic! Leave a comment below or on my Facebook page here if you have had experience in this area, and how you either resolved it — or NOT! I can’t wait to read the thoughts below!